Archive for January, 2007

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What Really Prevents You from an Extraordinary Life

Monday, January 8th, 2007
 
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Dear Jane,
I am in love with a woman but she doesn’t love me. This prevents me from having an extraordinary life.

If you believe that someone else prevents you from leading a more extraordinary life, you are giving away your power, which will only fuel a belief that you are a victim. It is never someone else who stops us from manifesting our deepest truths and longings.
In Enough Is Enough!, I write extensively about how we choose our Acts in life—the thoughts and behaviors that cover up who we really are. The Victim Act is the most common because we can convince ourselves of it so easily. All of us know this one. Inevitably, it sounds like, “I can’t ____ because he/she ______.” It gives us an excuse to avoid responsibility and underlying fears.

Unfortunately, victim thinking also keeps us suffering unnecessarily. I encourage you to change your thought to, “I can ______ because I _______.” Say this ten times a day and within days, you will notice a subtle shift inside you. You will find ways to achieve your goals that were not apparent before. Ideas and opportunities will open up for you.

Free will is a powerful thing. If we give it up, we imprison ourselves. When we embrace it, we find that the key to our prison door has been in our pocket all along.

About Jane
Jane Straus is a trusted life coach, dynamic keynote speaker, and the author of Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. With humor and grace, Jane offers her clients and seminar participants insights and exercises to ensure that the next chapter of their lives is about thriving as the unique individuals they have always been and the extraordinary ones they are still becoming. She serves clients worldwide and invites you to visit her site, StopEnduring.com. Here you will find excerpts from her book, more articles, TV and radio interviews, and clips from her presentations.
She is also the author of The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation, Grammarbook.com, an award-winning online resource and workbook with easy-to-understand rules, real-world examples, and fun quizzes.
Contact Jane at Jane@JaneStraus.com.

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Clarity on Your Life Purpose

Saturday, January 6th, 2007
 
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Dear Jane,
What if you don’t know what your life purpose is? What if it appears to be many things, and it’s difficult to figure out? What if it is so powerful, it seems to have stopped you dead in your tracks for 50 years, living a safe life of symbols of success? What if it is fear of shame and humiliation at such a fundamental level that you have been frozen in time?

If you feel overwhelmed by figuring out your life’s purpose(s), you may be thinking too grandiosely, causing you to feel paralyzed by your dreams rather than motivated by them. We may procrastinate our lives away because the goals we set are too daunting. We become spiritually paralyzed, caught up in a vicious circle of wanting and inaction, wanting and inaction.

First, stop focusing on what stops you. We are all afraid, at some level, of fear and humiliation. Don’t let that be your excuse for suffering. Take one action step towards one of your dreams. If you wanted to be a writer, that would mean writing one page, beginning a journal, talking to another writer, or taking a class. When you take even one step towards your spirit’s longings, you are facing your fears with courage. So write down a few small steps towards one of your goals. Make a commitment to take one of these. Tell someone who is supportive that you are doing this.

The aspirations we hold most dear always require courage. Courage requires action. We can’t get rid of a fear simply by hoping it goes away. As I talk about in Enough Is Enough!, Chapter 5 “Break the Spell of Fear: Make Fear Your Ally,” we learn how to downsize fear by working with it, not avoiding it. So taking one step towards your spirit’s ideals makes a big difference. It shifts your attention, helps you face and shrink your fears, and offers you the opportunity to admire yourself more.

About Jane
Jane Straus is a trusted life coach, dynamic keynote speaker, and the author of Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. With humor and grace, Jane offers her clients and seminar participants insights and exercises to ensure that the next chapter of their lives is about thriving as the unique individuals they have always been and the extraordinary ones they are still becoming. She serves clients worldwide and invites you to visit her site, StopEnduring.com. Here you will find excerpts from her book, more articles, TV and radio interviews, and clips from her presentations.
She is also the author of The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation, Grammarbook.com, an award-winning online resource and workbook with easy-to-understand rules, real-world examples, and fun quizzes.
Contact Jane at Jane@JaneStraus.com.

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Strengthening Your Self-Esteem

Monday, January 1st, 2007
 
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Dear Jane,
How can I strengthen my so low self-esteem?

In my book, Enough Is Enough!, I talk about The Big Lie, which is the mistaken belief that we are unworthy. As long as we believe this lie, we will behave accordingly, encouraging others to also believe this lie. This is how a lie eventually takes on the appearance of truth.

First and foremost, you need to take responsibility for raising your self-esteem. If you rely solely on others, you are neglecting your own spirit and inviting others to do the same. Self-esteem is part of our spirit. It requires consistent attention and nurturing. Begin by writing your answers to the following questions:
1. What are some of my good qualities?
2. How have I been helpful to others?
3. What talents do I possess?

These will help remind you of your worthiness. The next step is to act on the answers. If you are a compassionate person, you may want to volunteer with an organization that could use your inherent kindness. If you are artistic, you can teach others, take a class, or make time every day to do your art.

In addition to acting on your qualities and talents, do an affirmation. I write in the book about creating powerful affirmations that will work for you. Here are some tips:
1. Create your affirmation in present time.
2. Write it down and post it someplace prominent like your bathroom mirror.
3. Say it daily and often.
4. Be willing to believe that it will become true when you stop defending The Big Lie.

You can increase your self-esteem. The only thing in the way is a belief that you don’t deserve to. You do deserve to. And, guess what? Everyone in your life will benefit from your commitment to yourself.
About Jane
Jane Straus is a trusted life coach, dynamic keynote speaker, and the author of Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. With humor and grace, Jane offers her clients and seminar participants insights and exercises to ensure that the next chapter of their lives is about thriving as the unique individuals they have always been and the extraordinary ones they are still becoming. She serves clients worldwide and invites you to visit her site, StopEnduring.com. Here you will find excerpts from her book, more articles, TV and radio interviews, and clips from her presentations.
She is also the author of The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation, Grammarbook.com, an award-winning online resource and workbook with easy-to-understand rules, real-world examples, and fun quizzes.
Contact Jane at Jane@JaneStraus.com.

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When Fear Holds You Back

Monday, January 1st, 2007
 
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Dear Jane,
I’m re-taking a short seminar and then starting my own business. But something is holding me back. I know it’s fear, but so what!

Good for you for recognizing that it’s fear and for not making excuses, which means you are ready to say “boo” back to fear. Here are a few suggestions you’ll find in my book, Enough is Enough!, in the chapter “Break the Spell of Fear: Make Fear Your Ally”:

1. Imagine your worst fear and blow it up even bigger. Now ask yourself if you could live with those consequences. If the answer is yes, you will probably feel the fear decrease instantly.
2. Whatever you are afraid of—failure, success, abandonment, loneliness, financial insecurity—imagine that you never even start what you have set out to do. Imagine you are at the end of your life lying in bed. Are you saying to yourself, “I’m so proud that I played it safe, that I never took the risk.” Or are you saying to yourself, “I wish I had taken the risk regardless of the outcome.” If the answer is the latter, don’t let fear control you. It will only lead to regret.
3. Decide ahead of time that, no matter what happens, you will hold your head up high for having had the courage to turn your dream into a reality.
4. Make a commitment to someone else that you will move forward with your plans. Sometimes committing to others helps keep us on track.
5. Talk to others in your line of work who have been through what you are facing. Their support and suggestions will be very meaningful.

About Jane
Jane Straus is a trusted life coach, dynamic keynote speaker, and the author of Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. With humor and grace, Jane offers her clients and seminar participants insights and exercises to ensure that the next chapter of their lives is about thriving as the unique individuals they have always been and the extraordinary ones they are still becoming. She serves clients worldwide and invites you to visit her site, StopEnduring.com. Here you will find excerpts from her book, more articles, TV and radio interviews, and clips from her presentations.
She is also the author of The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation, Grammarbook.com, an award-winning online resource and workbook with easy-to-understand rules, real-world examples, and fun quizzes.
Contact Jane at Jane@JaneStraus.com.

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