Posts Tagged ‘time energy’

The True Measure of Abundance: An Extraordinary Life

Monday, March 17th, 2008

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One of my clients used the expression, “earning a living,” and it struck me that this phrasing is so painfully close to saying “earning a life.” If we equate earning money with earning the right to live, we are likely to find ourselves in what I call Endurance (yes, with a capital E).

Endurance comes from a belief that we are worthy because of what we do, not for who we essentially are. Endurance looks like waking up in the morning depressed, anxious, and/or convinced that today will be as boring or stressful as the day before and that tomorrow will be no different. When we are Enduring, life is a vicious circle, where we chase after money in order to be happy, finding that there is never enough of either and that neither money nor happiness seem to last long enough.

The only way out of this vicious circle and onto our path is to question the authority of the fundamental belief that we are anything less than fully worthy of an extraordinary life. Not just a good life—an extraordinary one defined on our own terms. If you don’t feel that your life is already extraordinary, you’re not alone, which means you can find ample evidence that an extraordinary life is reserved for other people, perhaps the wealthy or the lucky or the talented.

I would like to invite you to question the authority of that belief right NOW. Be willing to take off your blinders and you will notice people in all walks of life and from all socioeconomic levels leading abundant, creative, fascinating, fulfilling lives. They may work hard but they are Persevering, not Enduring. How can you tell? They have a goal in mind that inspires their spirit, keeping them on course during the rough patches and the times when nothing seems to be going as planned.

When we Persevere, we are listening to and respecting our Spirit, the part of us that knows what our highest good is, what we are here to do or at least to do next. The result is the feeling that life itself is extraordinary and that all we have to do is tap into its abundance. The key is the willingness to discard the untruth that we are worthy of anything less. So no matter what you were told as a child about having to please others to be loved or approved of, let that go this instant. Choose to see the truth: you are a human being, not a human doing, and therefore worthy because you are here.

Some people are afraid that recognizing their inherent worthiness will stop them from striving to reach their goals; on the contrary, it will allow you to pay attention to what your deeper values are and to focus on ways to achieve the goals associated with those values. You will stop attending to the superficial and pay attention to what really matters. You will find your courage along the way, regardless of temporary setbacks. Most importantly, you will admire the one you see in the mirror. Wouldn’t that be extraordinary? Isn’t living an extraordinary life the truest measure of abundance?


Announcements

Create Your Abundant Life With Jane
at Club Med in Cancun!
June 21-28, 2008
Enjoy the beautiful beach, delicious food, and luxurious setting while experiencing enriching programs by renowned self-help leaders, including a NEW program that I am offering:
Create Your Abundant Life NOW!
How do you know if you have limiting beliefs around abundance?
Just ask yourself:

Do I believe that abundance is that which already exists?
Do I believe that money is love?
If you can’t answer both questions with a resounding YES!, then don’t waste any more of your life suffering in lack.

Here’s another test of your abundance quotient:
Do you feel that you don’t have enough:
• Time
• Money
• Energy
• Love
• Intimacy
• Fun
• Self-esteem
• Inspiration, or
• Direction
There is a Buddhist saying that no enemy can harm us as much as our own worst thoughts. Three kinds of negative thoughts stop us from manifesting abundance:
• Fear
• Self-judgments
• Limiting beliefs

Any one of them can sabotage us, keep us stuck in a rut, stress us out, cause us confusion, or make us want to give up.
You will experience cutting-edge strategies and intriguing processes so that you will begin immediately to manifest your spirit’s deepest desires.
Price: Get your Friend of Jane discount $1999 (regular price $2600)/$1000 for children under 18, which includes lodging, meals, airport transportation, and all programs. Check out this beautiful, newly renovated Club Med for yourself.
Contact Teresa Williamson at teresa@tangodiva.com for more information and to register. Put in your Subject Line: Club Med w/Jane

About Jane Straus
Jane is a trusted life coach, dynamic keynote speaker, and the author of Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. With humor and grace, Jane offers her clients and seminar participants insights and exercises to ensure that the next chapter of their lives is about thriving as the unique individuals they have always been and the extraordinary ones they are still becoming. She serves clients worldwide and invites you to visit her site, www.stopenduring.com. Here you will find excerpts from her book, more articles, TV and radio interviews, and clips from her presentations.

She is also the author of The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation, www.grammarbook.com, an award-winning online resource and workbook with easy-to-understand rules, real-world examples, and fun quizzes. Contact Jane at Jane@JaneStraus.com.

Finding Time for What Really Matters

Monday, August 27th, 2007
 
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Starting to work for personal change is exciting but after a while, it feels like life interrupts and there’s not enough time/energy to do what needs to be done. What are some of the ways people who have been successful keep up with their plans for the long haul?

Years ago, one of my spiritual teachers said, “We always do what is most important.” In my mind, I argued against that, but I’ve thought about it a lot over the years and learned something important about myself and about human nature.

The truth is that we aren’t always honest about what we are making important. So when we say we want to do something but we don’t have time, we need to question what we are really valuing.

For years I proclaimed that I wanted to write a spiritual, self-help book that would provide whatever wisdom I had gleaned in my 20-plus years as a life coach and personal growth seminar leader. Yet I couldn’t seem to find the time even to make an outline.

Then in January of 2003, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Needless to say, this was a wake-up call that compelled me to do a deep personal inventory. If this brain tumor was cancerous or I lost my faculties because of the surgery, would I have any regrets in my life? The answer was a loud “Yes!” I knew I had copped out about writing the book.

But why? I really did want to write it so why hadn’t I? I had to find what my overriding priority had been if I wanted to “find the time” now. And the saying, “No time like the present” seemed more obvious than ever before. I discovered that my real priority had been to avoid fear and rejection. I had feared that I wasn’t a good enough writer, that no publisher would want the book, and that there would be no audience for it. I also feared some of my family’s disapproval of my thoughts. Once I was honest with myself and realized that there truly is “No time like the present,” I shifted my priorities.

Suddenly, where I had no time before, I was now able to carve out time. Where fear had blocked me, ideas now began to flow. Writing Enough Is Enough! was hard work and often ego bruising but, because I had been honest with myself, it got written, was welcomed by a publisher, and is a tangible object I use to propel me through my other fears.

With Enough Is Enough! birthed and out in the world, I had to face my next writing demon: As a teenager, I said I wanted to write the Great American Novel. Over the years, in fits and starts, I had scribbled ideas, dialogue, and even chapters. But it was all collecting dust until I again faced the truth that I had been prioritizing my fears over my spiritual longing.

I’ve spent the last two years working diligently, learning the craft, taking in experts’ critiques, and rewriting, rewriting, rewriting. Last week I sent my manuscript, titled Touched, to my literary agent. I’ll let you know what she thinks.

So don’t fool yourself with your excuses. It’s a setup for regret. I was fortunate to get a second chance. Use NOW as your chance to prioritize your spirit over your fears. No doubt, you will find yourself living a more extraordinary life.

Jane’s Coaching and Training

For over 20 years, Jane Straus has coached individuals and groups, facilitated organizational retreats, conducted training programs, and presented keynotes for corporations and nonprofits nationwide.

To get exceptional results from coaching and training, you need someone who knows how to assess blind spots as well as enhance strengths. Jane’s coaching helps individuals and groups maximize their potential. Jane works to ensure that each client receives the wisdom, skills, and support he/she needs to succeed and thrive.

Contact Jane directly at Jane@janestraus.com to discuss your coaching or training needs or visit StopEnduring.com for more information and testimonials.

Jane Straus is the author of the popular self-help book, Enough Is Enough! See her TV interviews, read her articles, and order the book by visiting StopEnduring.com.

The Enlightenment Secret that Economists Know

Sunday, June 24th, 2007
 
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We’ve all been reading or at least hearing about The Secret, which teaches how “the laws of attraction” work. But over twenty years ago, my husband, who is an engineer and, therefore, data driven and logical, first introduced me to what I believe to be a bigger (and better) secret. It is what economists call Sunk Costs. I still think of it as one of the most enlightened concepts I’ve ever learned and I try to apply it daily in my thinking and actions. That’s why I spent pages on it in my book, Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. When I define it, you will immediately get it. Yet it is one of the most challenging truths to embrace. Curious?

Sunk Costs essentially means that just because you have invested time, money, or energy into something, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should keep investing more. While economists and scientists are trained to discard hypotheses that don’t pan out, most of us tend to cling to what we’re already doing, even when the evidence is overwhelming that we’re wasting our resources for insufficient returns. This is why Dr. Phil’s question, “How’s it workin’ for ya?” is always so pertinent.

Here is a typical scenario we all face in one form or another on a regular basis: You’ve bought a ticket to an expensive play for Saturday night. Your good friend, whose taste is very similar to yours, sees the play on Friday night and reports to you that it’s just awful. He tells you that it’s boring and silly, a total waste of time. Do you still go to the play the next night? If you’re like most people, you will tell yourself, “I don’t want to waste all that money I’ve spent on my ticket so I’ll go.”

But is this logical? Isn’t it more logical to think, “The money I’ve spent on the ticket is gone whether I go to the play or not. (Sunk Costs) Why waste my time being bored at the theatre when I could do something fun or just stay home and relax?” If you truly embrace the concept of Sunk Costs here, you’ll never feel another twinge of guilt or remorse about tearing up an unused ticket.

Maybe theatre tickets don’t make you ignore the truth about Sunk Costs. But have you ever dropped more quarters into a slot machine or continued to roll the die at the craps table because you’d already lost money so your luck just had to change? The casinos rely on us to hold onto this “make believe” logic. They are betting and winning on our inability to embrace Sunk Costs. They know that the more we spend, the more likely we are to irrationally keep trying to make up for it.

Here’s another example: Your child signed up for a week-long day camp that cost you a pretty penny. After two miserable days at camp, she comes home bored and uninspired, telling you she absolutely hates it and would rather stay home and do nothing. Some of us might try to convince our child that maybe the next day will get better. But what we’re really thinking is, “If she doesn’t go back, all that money I spent will be wasted.” Sunk Costs reminds us that whether she goes or stays, the money’s gone. So presuming you don’t need to pay for a babysitter or your child isn’t about to drive you crazy at home (a big presumption, perhaps, but you get the idea), your child staying home for the rest of the week is a logical and legitimate option.

You don’t gamble, you hate the theatre, and your children have always adored camp? Okay, then have you ever stayed in a relationship because you’d already invested so much of your heart and soul, not because it was actually working or even healthy? Did you ever convince yourself that the crumb you were being tossed was a full meal, telling yourself, “I’ve given so much of myself to him. Maybe he’s really going to change this time. I’ll give him one more chance”? If we hold the awareness of Sunk Costs, we may find it easier to let go a little sooner or without quite as much struggle.

As we enter the 21st century, we are being challenged to embrace the concept of Sunk Costs in a big way. We know now that global warming poses an imminent threat to our very existence. We can’t afford to believe the old hypothesis anymore: that using up resources at an increasing rate can always be absorbed by nature. Sunk Costs may be the key to our very salvation. As Melissa Etheridge sings, “Now I am throwing off the carelessness of youth, to listen to an inconvenient truth: that I need to move, I need to wake up, I need to change, I need to shake up…”

It’s time for Sunk Costs to become more than an obscure economic theory. It is too profound. It needs to be one of our guiding principles—one we meditate on daily to up the sanity quotient of our individual and collective lives. We can embrace the truth of Sunk Costs one day, one theatre ticket, one relationship, one consumer purchase at a time to help us let go of the absurd with grace and hope.

Read excerpts from Enough Is Enough!, watch Jane’s interviews on TV, listen to her on the radio, or talk to her about becoming your personal coach by visiting Stopenduring.com.

The Key to Finding Hope

Saturday, September 23rd, 2006
 
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This was a busy day. I’m sure you understand. So when I received two emails each from Amnesty International and the International Rescue Committee imploring me to contact my senators and urge them to support sending UN peacekeeping forces to Darfur, rather than call I felt annoyed, put out, guilted.

And then I thought for a moment. Here are millions of people suffering unspeakable horrors and this is a cause I’ve supported and spoken publicly about and I’m annoyed? What’s really going on here?

I realized that my annoyance was a cover up. What I really felt was helpless and hopeless. For all the spotlighting of this genocide, for all the petitions signed by hundreds of thousands, for all the rallies, the situation in Darfur has gotten worse, not better. What I was really thinking was, “What difference will two more phone calls make, especially to senators who probably already support increasing aid to the Darfur region?”

Then I realized what a luxury it was for me to feel helpless and hopeless while hundreds of thousands of people are being tortured, raped, starved, and murdered. How dare I do nothing because I choose to believe that I can’t do enough?

I’ve spent today forgiving myself for wallowing in hopelessness. The day’s not over and I’m not done yet. I still have more to forgive and two senators to contact. How are you spending your busy day?

About Jane
Jane Straus is a trusted life coach, dynamic keynote speaker, and the author of Enough Is Enough! Stop Enduring and Start Living Your Extraordinary Life. With humor and grace, Jane offers her clients and seminar participants insights and exercises to ensure that the next chapter of their lives is about thriving as the unique individuals they have always been and the extraordinary ones they are still becoming. She serves clients worldwide and invites you to visit her site, StopEnduring.com. Here you will find excerpts from her book, more articles, TV and radio interviews, and clips from her presentations.
She is also the author of The Blue Book of Grammar and Punctuation, Grammarbook.com, an award-winning online resource and workbook with easy-to-understand rules, real-world examples, and fun quizzes.
Contact Jane at Jane@JaneStraus.com.