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We’ve all heard Nike’s trademarked saying, “Just do it.” What would your saying be? Mine is, “Start anywhere.”
It doesn’t matter whether you begin to change something in your life by changing your thoughts first or if you begin by changing your habitual behaviors. Either way, you will free yourself from your prison of endurance. The more stubborn your mind, the better it may be to change your actions first and let your mind catch up with the results later. It’s like trying to stay mad or sad when you’re smiling. Just the act of moving those mouth muscles upward changes the way you feel and think. Do a new behavior enough times and you will start to question the authority of those limiting beliefs, self-judgments, and fears.
Today, think of one habitual behavior that reinforces a fear, self-judgment, or limiting belief. For example, do you make excuses for avoiding a creative pursuit because you have self-doubt? Do you withhold affection because you are afraid of being rejected? Instead of trying to talk yourself into higher self-esteem or fearlessness, walk the talk or, as they say in AA, “Fake it ‘till you make it.” Behave in a way that says boo back to that fear. Snub your nose at self-judgment or unworthiness by acting as if you had already changed your mind. In other words, if you’re having a bad hair day x 365 over something, get your hair done instead of just affirming that it looks fine or that you shouldn’t care, or worse yet, that you don’t matter enough. Start somewhere, anywhere. How? Dive into that creative project. Give affection freely.
Yes, changing our behavior takes courage. It is risky. But how will you thrive if you don’t listen to your spirit? To find your courage, think of someone you admire. There–if you spot it, you got it! You can’t admire something in someone that is not already within you. Nurture that quality. Become the person you admire. Listen to your spirit and remember that you are your own GURU (Gee You Are You).
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Tags: behavior change, change, dear jane, endurance, fear, Jane Straus, limiting beliefs, self-judgment, thought into action, worthiness
Facing one’s fears is the most liberating experience. It isn’t as terrifying as living a life you don’t want to live. Change cannot happen without that critical first step. And the process is ongoing. Jane is where I turn when my foot becomes stuck!
Jane, Years ago, I learned a technique for reviewing my belief system to determine which of my beliefs supported my short and long term goals and which prevented me from accomplishing my goals. Instead of listening to the radio when I drove to work, I decided I would review all my beliefs one by one. I did this over a period of many months and eventually, years. As I did so, my life and career began moving in the direction I wanted to go. As I accomplished my initial goals and dreams, I began to raise my expectations of what I could do and set new goals and dreams. Over the next 15 years, my career expanded and my passion for my work grew exponentially. However, I now realize that my husband and I weren’t able to do this with during our marriage and we are getting divorced. So, I am now using this technique again to create my vision and goals for this next chapter of my life as a single woman. And, I expect I will be doing this through-out my life when I am not getting the results I want.
Annie, thank you for the kudos. I’m going to throw some credit back your way for being a courageous woman with a lot of inner wisdom. In fact, I’ve got to give you, Carole, the same feedback. I’ve been fortunate to travel down some of both of your paths and admire you both very much.
It’s always inspiting to be reminded of the many ways we can be in endurance and that by altering just one habit or behavior we begin to survive less and thrive more. In recovery there’s a saying that “we’re only as sick as our secrets” and I am reminded of that saying while thinking about self-judgement and limiting beliefs. The irony for me lies in the the fact that whenever I am able to let go of a lie and embrace the truth, I am relieved of a huge psychic weight and amazed at how much easier everthing falls into place. Where I saw chaos I now see a design. Why, when it’s that liberating, can we be so quick to fall back into fear-driven behaviors? Thank you Jane for your wisdom.
Jane….Hello Sweet Heart. Really enjoyed finding this today and reading all the inspirational stories/comments. Thank You – Just Because. Namaste’ Jeri
Dear Jane:
I just started reading your book Enough is Enough last week and am just up to page 67, Chapter 4, and am loving every page. The above-stated question of “how to begin to stop enduring” and your answer of “start anywhere” I have already experienced the “start anywhere” because I have applied some of your techniques to several incidences of thinking and responding differently in my life after just reading the first 67 pages of your book.
I have already begun to apply a different thinking strategy to respond to various incidents in my life. Rather than accepting something without question and just responding to the stimulus, especially if the response that someone is asking me to do is not in line with something I value, I am acknowledging that I have a responsibility to myself and feel that I am worthy to provide a response that supports my beliefs.
I am just beginning but feel more positive than ever that I can begin to tackel ALL of the many ways that I have been shortchanging myself by not being truly honest about my values and my worth as a person.
Your book is truly wonderful in that anyone can “start anywhere” with your principles to begin to change their life and how they respond to incidents. I’m far from being fully competent yet, but I am so glad that I found your book and an beginning to take a more active part in the development of my future.
Regards,
Wendy M.
Hi, Wendy.
I’m grateful that my book has been helpful and I can tell that you are well on your way to getting out of endurance. It is exciting to read about your awakening and to know that you are not only creating a more rewarding life for yourself but for everyone who is in your presence by acknowledging your own worthiness. Thank you for writing.
Deer Ms. Strauss,
Your articles are life-affirming, no matter what the situation. Please
keep up the wonderful work. God Bless you!
Great article Jane. Changing behavior is hard but if you have courage the World becomes your Oyster. At least it has been now I’m on this path.
Thanks for your comments. I appreciate them.
Dear Jane,
Your wonderful insights are a god send for me. They have given me a number of “eureka” moments from which i’ve emerged enlightened and inspired. Thank you.